Pre-GAY-ming

Sometimes I go on dates without realizing it.

Names have been changed to protect the secure in his sexuality.

Name of Date: The Introduction
Date #: 1
Looks Like: A dancing nazi chorus boy from The Sound of Music
Age: 16 (DON'T FREAK. I WAS 18 AT THE TIME! THIS IS A NO PEDO-ZONE!)
Occupation: High School Student
Where We Met: I went to see a production of Kiss Me Kate and he was the lead. We met afterward.
What Happened: Ok so back in my "straight" days, I had this one occurence where I went on a date with a guy but didn't realize it. I mean I probably knew subconciously, but I totes denied it in my minds. Anyway we met after the show he was in, and I thought he was insanely talented. Homo has always been attracted to talent. Although at this point I would never have classified it as attraction. I was just drawn to him.

So we exchanged e-mail addresses (this was before facebook, y'alls) and aim sn. (this was also before everyone had a cellphone, for reals, dark ages) We would chat casually online, although I never encouraged anything because I had been informed that he was gay. He was actually probably the first out person I had ever met. I lived a very sheltered life where the concept of homosexual was painted like a diseased hoodlum who would rape you before saying hello. (Although with some hot messes, this be the case). Also I had a girlfriend.

So we chatted. And decided to "hang out" one night. We'd meet for dinner. O'Charley's. My Fav. Don't even pretend you don't love those rolls. If I'mma make myself fat from devil carbs, Its gonna be with O'Charley's rolls.

So I show up and Its been about 2 weeks since I've seen the show. I don't honestly remember what he looks like. (Remember pre-facebook). So I am sitting there in the waiting area. And there is another guy there who could have been him, but I'm not sure. I suddenly have a panic attack. Is this him? What do I say? Am I a jerk for not recognizing him? What If I say "Hey" and its not and the guy thinks I'm gay?!?! AHHHH NOT DATING BOYS IS HAAAARRRD.

So we honestly both sit there for 5 minutes before he gets up and says "Tim?" And I say, yes. Apparently neither of us could remember what the other looked like. That doesn't make it better, but it made it less awkward. Also I didn't feel pretty. And I hate that feeling.

We had a nice dinner and chat. Nothing eventful there. I had assumed I'd pay my check and then go home. But something weird came over me. I grabbed for the check and not only paid for my meal, but his as well. I don't know why. It was instict. Something deep down and inherent told me I should. My head brain was confused.

Then instead of getting in my car and driving home, he suggested we get in HIS car and drive around. And I agreed. It was like my future self took over and my body was on auto pilot. It knew to continue without me having to think. Welcome to Homo-Land! Admission: Me. We drove around listening to showtunes. WE DROVE AROUND LISTENING TO SHOWTUNES. If gay had been a snake it would have bitten me. Then blown me.

He took me back to my car and presented me with a mix cd he had made for me. He made me a present. It was at this moment and only this moment that I realized... he liked me. My brain freaked out. It was like Anna Nicole Smith trying to leave a party. "Oh I just.. thank you.. its... i need to... pretty... woooo.... my car... leave... come here...get outta my hairspace! " fall on my face and pass out. Well not that part. But almost. It was too much too soon. I had to shut it down lest he think I was gay and felt the same way. OH THE HORROR! I made a hasty exit and spent the next few weeks obsessing over what happened.

Gained Points for: Being my shipra, unknowingly

Lost Points for: The Mix CD. Moving way tooooo fast. If you'da slowed down I might have come out MUCH earlier.

Mistakes I Made: Not realizing that a gay boy who wanted to go to dinner with me would assume this would be a date.

Chances for Another Date: I was waaaay too nervous.

Overall Grade: B