Night of the Living WTF!?

It's time for my first real dating post. I'm excited! Aren't you?!

Names and specifics have be changed to protect the potentially humiliated.

Name of Date: Princeton
Date #: 1
Age: 26
Looks Like: a sexy hobbit
Occupation: wannabe laywer
Where We Met: he messaged me on myspace. don't judge me!
What Happened: After about a month or two of messaging back on myspace (It was all very clean. no dirty-dirty) he drove 30 minutes to come support me at an event I was working. I didn't know he was coming, It was a shock to me. I noticed him immediately because of his pictures and thought he looked even sexier in person. Even though I couldn't talk to him right away, we began a rather virgorous round of eye sex. hardcore unprotected eye sex.

Afterwards we spoke and he was a really interesting guy. I invited him to the after party. We show up arm in arm and mingle around the party. He's phenomenal. He is charming everyone and I get lots of sly winks and thumbs up. Yesssssss. He invites me back to his place to "watch a movie."
Ha. "watch a movie?" please, child. This isn't freshmen year of college where you need to put on "Boondock Saints" so we can awkwardly make out.

I follow him back to his place (which is gorgeous) and he opens a bottle of wine and puts on "The Departed." He doesn't touch me at ALL during the movie. Just lays his head within inches of my lap. I'm going crazy thinking I'm missing something. The movie ends and I dejectedly prepare to leave. He stops me and asks if I want to spend the night.

Bingo.

Now gentleman, I'm not usually your "sex on the first date" kind of guy. I am much more classy than that. But when you're horny, you're horny and you don't just pass up a night with a handsome (almost) lawyer now do you?

We go to his room, undress and get in bed. For three awesome minutes we make out. He promptly says "ok. i'm tired. goodnight." rolls over. and effing falls asleep. uh....... seriously? I was going to compromise my morals for you and you leave me hanging with a boner? Not cool, dude. Not. Cool.

Now here is where the night takes a drastic turn for the worse. "How could it get worse" you say? Just. Listen. Around 3-4am he jolts awake and screams at me "WHO ARE YOU?! WHO ARE YOU?!?" I am freaked out beyond belief and stammer
"...Timmy... we met earlier... I..."
"GIMME MY GLASSES"
"ok" as i reach for his glasses on the nightstand and hand them to him.
he whisphers "do you see that guy?"
"what?"
"that guy in the corner?"
there is no one in the corner. i have no idea what to say. i pause. consider bolting from the room and this crazy psycho, but turn back to him and say:
"there is no one there."
his response:
"oh. i'm creepy. sorry. night-night."
he falls back down on the pillow and is out like a light.

WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED. I should have left. Some crazy-ass dude almost killed me (yes. thats what i thought) why am I still there? For some stupid reason, I stay. In the morning he acts like nothing happened. Kisses me and makes me breakfast. I'm stunned. I ask

"what the hell was that about last night?"

he doesn't remember. i tell him what happened. he says

"ohhhhh. i should have told you. i have night terrors."

you should have told me? no. its ok. its not like i'm sleeping in the same bed with you or i could have been in physical danger. no its not like that at all. plus i enjoy being scared out of mind after being denied sex. its like my most favorite thing ever.

We eat in silence and as I leave he heads to the gym. as i'm pulling away he calls and says "hmmm some road head would be nice right now."

Gained points for: Being hot and charming. Calling me on the way to his place and saying (very romantically) "look at the fireworks."

Lost points for: being a fucking crazy psychopath. and giving me blue balls.

Mistakes I Made: spending the night with a stranger. who do I think I am, the first victim in a slasher movie?! also calling to suggest sex AFTER i leave.

Chances For Another Date: sigh. ok. probably pretty good. Yeah he's crazy, but he's hot and short. and i like that. Plus his place is gorgeous and he's gonna be a lawyer. I like nice things. If he calls, I would definitely go out with him again.

Overall Score: B-