Sometimes you are just plain desperate
Names have been changed to protect the embarrassing.
Name of Date: Redneck Mike
Date #: 2
Title of Last Date: You Might Be A Gay Redneck If....
Amount of Time Between Last Date: 2 weeks
What Happened: When I left my last date with R.M. I said I told myself I wouldn't go out with him again unless he got plastic surgery. As I mentioned in my last entry... I don't have time for uglies. However he called and said a group of his friend were getting together to go to a haunted house. I didn't want to see him. But I've never been to a haunted house and I really wanted to go. Plus he'd probably pay AND other gay friends of his might open up some awesome opportunity:
"Oh my that scary chainsaw guy scared me I needed to grab your hand"
"thats not my..."
"shhhh"
"i'm not even your..."
"SSHHHHH!!"
Shameless but effective.
So I meet up with him after he gets off work. I get there and he's like the king of under prepared. He doesn't know where the place is, how much it costs, anything. I thought maybe his friends would have helped him out, but no. Apparently they're just as awesome. Which is not at all. So we literally sit in his car while he calls 20 million people to figure out whats going on.
thirty minutes later. I am not exaggerating. THIRTY MINUTES LATER we learn that his friends don't want to go. the place is an hour away... and closes in 20 minutes. mother... fucker...
He suggests we go back to his place.
I have two options.
a). leave sad unattractive clogger alone and get in my car and be home by 9pm on a friday night
b). go to his place and see where the evening takes me.
For $1 million and a possible case of scabies... my final answer is B!
We go to his place listening to terrible music along the way. He actually had a decent apartment and I'm kind of surprised. When I walk in we immediately hear people in one of the bedrooms and go to investigate. There is his gay roommate (not much cuter) and another friend (much cuter thankyouplease) watching porn.
No joke. Porn. Welcome to Awkward-ville. Population: Me.
They aren't jerking off or anything. Just watching it, like its your everyday movie. I guess some people actually do watch porn for the plot. who knew? we exchange hellos and head into the kitchen to get food. he pulls out this frozen spinach artichoke dip thing from tgifridays and heats it up.
damn i'm a sucker for some spinach artichoke dip. if i was samson, it would be my hair. my gooey cheesy delicious hair.
He suggests we watch a movie. Uh-oh. Y'all know what that means. I tell him I'm not sure and he says he just rented "Blades of Glory.".....
Seriously. Homo rented that? I thought it was impossible to judge you any more than I already was. And you seriously think you can seduce ME with that piece of shit movie? I'm laughing on the inside, and i'm suuuuper intrigued into how he is going to try to sleep with me with the least sexy food and the least sexy OR funny movie. I tell him to put it in.
The torture than ensued for the next 90 minutes was painstaking. If Amy Poheler had not been in that movie... I'd be in a coma until this day. DO NOT RESUSCITATE!
The movie ends and he makes his move. He leans in to kiss me... and is straight up DENIED. Ugh, why had I not used that awful 90 minutes to come up with some mtv style rejection a la "Dismissed"... I failed. All I did was lean back and say "I gotta go..." and left. Missed opportunity indeed.
Gained Points for: s to the p to i-n-a-c-h dip.
Lost Poins for: not taking me to a haunted house so i could ditch him and meet another hotter guy.
Mistakes I Made: Not just watching the porn with the other guys... it would have been a lot more enjoyable.
Chances for Another Date: Yeah seriously not ever again. You got a second chance you didn't deserve and blew it.
Overall Grade: D+
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
The Man Without a Conscience
Sometimes people are just plain fishy.
Names have been changed to protect the unscrupulous.
Name of Date: Shady
Date #: 1
Looks Like: Kenneth Parcell from 30 Rock, but he has a chin. and is cute. Homo don't date no uglies.
Age: 26
Occupation: Satan's Assistant/Evil-Doer
Where We Met: MySpace... go ahead. judge it.
What Happened: I forget who first messaged whom on myspace, but it happened. Somehow a conversation began between the two of us. This slim blonde haired well-dressed guy was eye-catching and worthy of more than the "oh. thank you. i'm flattered. but i'm really just looking to make friends." e-mail.
We agree to meet for coffee and then meet up with some friends of his later at the gay club. I know, I know. A gay club on a first date? Risky move... but he suggested and I wasn't going to say no just yet.
I do my usual thing where I get there early and make sure I pick the best table so that I look hot in the lighting. I also need like 10 minutes to think about what I'm going to order so that when the time comes I can recite it like its the usj or something. Starbucks is intimidating people, don't even pretend its not. And you KNOW you feel like an idiot when the barista is like "Next?" and you're all "Um.. I'll have the um... mocha... um... venti... um" ORDERING FAIL!
So anyway, Shady shows up (looking good in a very expensive and trendy sweater, yes, please!) and we do the whole get to know you conversation. I talk about myself for a while, cause I love to do that. Then its his turn. First thing he tells me is that I have the same name as his ex. "uhh... thanks?" I don't know if he has a thing for guys with my name or if its going to be a deal breaker (It sooo would be for me). Then, I ask what he does. And he says this without the slightest hint of shame: "I work for an insurance company. Its my job to make sure the company doesn't give out money."
Excuse me?
"Yeah... I deny insurance claims. Even if they're justified. My job is to say no to everything."
I am appalled... and obvs call him out on it. "So people who need this money to survive, who are stuggling and who knows what else, aren't getting money they DESERVE because you say no?"
"yes"
I ask him how he can live with himself, to do something so morally reprehinsble. He says "oh, its fine. they pay me well. did you see my car? its badass."
I am tempted to throw coffee on him and walk out the door right then. This guy is a total creep. He feels no guilt over what he does, what does that say about how he functions in a relationship? The warning sign is flashing "GET THE EFF OUT" but, because of you lovies, I stay and decide that for my fans, the date must be seen through.
We get to the club and meet his friend who is infitely more fun and interesting than him, but he isn't nearly as hot... so the two balance out. What? You were thinking the same thing. So we begin dancing/drinking and his friend asks "So is Tim gonna be here tonight?" "I'm already here, I say, I'm..." then it hits me. He means Shady's ex.
Shady nods and says "he texted me. he is performing tonight." uh.... Performing? I question. "Yeah... Tim is a dancer here."
You mean Tim is a trashy ho stripper and I'm here to make your ex jealous? Thats what you mean?!
.... Kinda.
I march away and kick myself for not driving my own car. I could get a cab? No. I'm too cheap. I acutally am stuck in this crappy gay club until they are ready to go. Well no way in hell am I going to be some selfish prick's arm candy to make his trashy ex jealous. I know you are suprised. This sounds like just the kind of thing I would LURVE to do. You know? Re-enact some classic scenes from the Creek or Gossip Girl. Be the center of Drama and walk away without any responsibility... but this guy is so sleazy. What he does for a living, how nonchalant he is about using me. Its all too weird. Even for me.
It is then when I notice some hot little thing eyeing me. We being to dance. We begin to make out. I am positive that Shady sees this. WHO IS THE TRASHY HO NOW?! oh wait.. .thats not something to be proud of. whoops! He gets the picture that I want to be taken home... and we leave. I ask for HLT's # as I'm walking out the door but he says "sorry... i don't have a phone." Being shady always begets shady. Touche.
Gained Points for: Assuming I'm hot enough to make someone jealous. Thats kind of flattering.
Lost Points for: Being creepy and skeevy and making want to vomit and slap him simultaneously.
Mistakes I Made: Trying to out-trash him. That is never a good decision. My come-uppance was justified.
Chances for Another Date: Yeah no.
Overall Grade: D
Names have been changed to protect the unscrupulous.
Name of Date: Shady
Date #: 1
Looks Like: Kenneth Parcell from 30 Rock, but he has a chin. and is cute. Homo don't date no uglies.
Age: 26
Occupation: Satan's Assistant/Evil-Doer
Where We Met: MySpace... go ahead. judge it.
What Happened: I forget who first messaged whom on myspace, but it happened. Somehow a conversation began between the two of us. This slim blonde haired well-dressed guy was eye-catching and worthy of more than the "oh. thank you. i'm flattered. but i'm really just looking to make friends." e-mail.
We agree to meet for coffee and then meet up with some friends of his later at the gay club. I know, I know. A gay club on a first date? Risky move... but he suggested and I wasn't going to say no just yet.
I do my usual thing where I get there early and make sure I pick the best table so that I look hot in the lighting. I also need like 10 minutes to think about what I'm going to order so that when the time comes I can recite it like its the usj or something. Starbucks is intimidating people, don't even pretend its not. And you KNOW you feel like an idiot when the barista is like "Next?" and you're all "Um.. I'll have the um... mocha... um... venti... um" ORDERING FAIL!
So anyway, Shady shows up (looking good in a very expensive and trendy sweater, yes, please!) and we do the whole get to know you conversation. I talk about myself for a while, cause I love to do that. Then its his turn. First thing he tells me is that I have the same name as his ex. "uhh... thanks?" I don't know if he has a thing for guys with my name or if its going to be a deal breaker (It sooo would be for me). Then, I ask what he does. And he says this without the slightest hint of shame: "I work for an insurance company. Its my job to make sure the company doesn't give out money."
Excuse me?
"Yeah... I deny insurance claims. Even if they're justified. My job is to say no to everything."
I am appalled... and obvs call him out on it. "So people who need this money to survive, who are stuggling and who knows what else, aren't getting money they DESERVE because you say no?"
"yes"
I ask him how he can live with himself, to do something so morally reprehinsble. He says "oh, its fine. they pay me well. did you see my car? its badass."
I am tempted to throw coffee on him and walk out the door right then. This guy is a total creep. He feels no guilt over what he does, what does that say about how he functions in a relationship? The warning sign is flashing "GET THE EFF OUT" but, because of you lovies, I stay and decide that for my fans, the date must be seen through.
We get to the club and meet his friend who is infitely more fun and interesting than him, but he isn't nearly as hot... so the two balance out. What? You were thinking the same thing. So we begin dancing/drinking and his friend asks "So is Tim gonna be here tonight?" "I'm already here, I say, I'm..." then it hits me. He means Shady's ex.
Shady nods and says "he texted me. he is performing tonight." uh.... Performing? I question. "Yeah... Tim is a dancer here."
You mean Tim is a trashy ho stripper and I'm here to make your ex jealous? Thats what you mean?!
.... Kinda.
I march away and kick myself for not driving my own car. I could get a cab? No. I'm too cheap. I acutally am stuck in this crappy gay club until they are ready to go. Well no way in hell am I going to be some selfish prick's arm candy to make his trashy ex jealous. I know you are suprised. This sounds like just the kind of thing I would LURVE to do. You know? Re-enact some classic scenes from the Creek or Gossip Girl. Be the center of Drama and walk away without any responsibility... but this guy is so sleazy. What he does for a living, how nonchalant he is about using me. Its all too weird. Even for me.
It is then when I notice some hot little thing eyeing me. We being to dance. We begin to make out. I am positive that Shady sees this. WHO IS THE TRASHY HO NOW?! oh wait.. .thats not something to be proud of. whoops! He gets the picture that I want to be taken home... and we leave. I ask for HLT's # as I'm walking out the door but he says "sorry... i don't have a phone." Being shady always begets shady. Touche.
Gained Points for: Assuming I'm hot enough to make someone jealous. Thats kind of flattering.
Lost Points for: Being creepy and skeevy and making want to vomit and slap him simultaneously.
Mistakes I Made: Trying to out-trash him. That is never a good decision. My come-uppance was justified.
Chances for Another Date: Yeah no.
Overall Grade: D
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Cradle Robbing
Sometimes dates are the culmination of years of planning.
Names have been changed to protect the barely legal.
Name of Date: Jail Bait
Date #: 1
Looks Like: Tyson Ritter's younger brother.
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Where we met: I was on the production crew for a show where he was in the cast.
What Happened: So I met Jail Bait when he actually WAS Jail Bait (16). The first time I saw him I thought "Oh my gosh, that kid is the most adorable thing I have ever seen on the entire planet." Thus the seed of a crush grew. I avoided him though to avoid any temptation/jail time. But over the next couple of months we became friends and his friends revealed to me that he "was in love with me, you know?" I was flattered but even that poetic confession of undying affection wasn't enough to sway me.
I still thought about him from time to time over the next couple of months and decided that when he turned 18, I would definitely take him on a date. I made this known and he hungrily agreed. In fact the day he turned 18 he facebooked me asking when our date was. Adorable, right?
Well we made plans over the next couple of months. Seriously. Planning this date was like planning an effing wedding. Where should we meet? Should I pick you up? What if it rains? Maybe we could do this? Back and forth for like ever. Once plans were finalized though, I knew it was go-time.
We met up for Japanese food and he walks in wearing absolutely precious salmon colored pants. Its a bold choice, but he worked it. He is confident enough to pull it off. This is normally something I'd judge the hell out of. I'd be all "um banana republic wants their $98 chinos back, bitch." But like I said, he doesn't look like a WASP-Y douche.
We talk about what we've been doing since the show(s) we worked on and its really nice to catch up with him. Despite our age difference (somewhere between 5 - 7 yrs. ugh.... i know.) we have a lot to talk about. and when we're done eating I don't want it to end.
I quickly suggest we head back to my place to have an indoor picnic and watch the rain. Romantic, right? I'm kind of awesome at these things. So I spread a blanket out and open the blinds and we watch the rain. I also put on my "make-out" mix on my ipod. Yes, ladies and gays, I have a make-out mix on my ipod. Don't be judgin'... you do it. Music to get it on to. A lot of acoustic guitar and syrupy lyrics. (Thank you John Mayer and DMB!)
So the music is playing. We're watching the rain... and nothing is happening. All that is left for me to do is wear a hat that says "Times for the make-outs now!" He just isn't getting the picture. So I actually say:
"You know I think you're cute right?"
"Yeah..."
"You know I want to kiss you right?"
"Yeah..."
"Would that be ok?"
and Jail Bail shrugs. He SHRUGS!... which i take as a yes. So I lean forward and begin my awesome art of kissing. I'm like really good at it, p.s. You can ask like literally dozens and dozens of people. Most of you reading the blog have kissed me and are nodding your heads right now. Don't lie.
So we pause and I can tell he's nervous. Shaking. And I ask if he's ok and he says "yes... its just..." and my mind freaks out. "Its just what? You're really only 17? You have a boyfriend? You don't like me anymore?"
"Its just... you're my first kiss."
I was stunned. This kid is gorgeous and I'm his first kiss. I feel like a champion and the biggest creeper in the world. On the one hand, lucky-ass him for getting his first kiss from someone as awesome as me. On the other... it probably should have come from someone he could have had a real relationship with. I don't know what to do. I ask if he wants to stop. He says "...no" and basically tackles me.
We end up making out for another 30 minutes. I really want to take his clothes off... but I'm not that terrible. When he leaves I tell him I'll see him at his HS graduation... god, i'm such a creepy perv.
Gained Points For: Picking up the technique really quickly
Lost Points For: Making me beg for it. I gotta keep some dignity, you know?
Mistakes I Made: um... .GOING ON A DATE WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD?!?
Chances for another date: Probably not good. He is going off to college and will find a candy store of young hot gay boys there. I'll be the last thing on his mind. However, he is so adorable and technically its legal so... I'd be up for it.
Overall Grade: B
Names have been changed to protect the barely legal.
Name of Date: Jail Bait
Date #: 1
Looks Like: Tyson Ritter's younger brother.
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Where we met: I was on the production crew for a show where he was in the cast.
What Happened: So I met Jail Bait when he actually WAS Jail Bait (16). The first time I saw him I thought "Oh my gosh, that kid is the most adorable thing I have ever seen on the entire planet." Thus the seed of a crush grew. I avoided him though to avoid any temptation/jail time. But over the next couple of months we became friends and his friends revealed to me that he "was in love with me, you know?" I was flattered but even that poetic confession of undying affection wasn't enough to sway me.
I still thought about him from time to time over the next couple of months and decided that when he turned 18, I would definitely take him on a date. I made this known and he hungrily agreed. In fact the day he turned 18 he facebooked me asking when our date was. Adorable, right?
Well we made plans over the next couple of months. Seriously. Planning this date was like planning an effing wedding. Where should we meet? Should I pick you up? What if it rains? Maybe we could do this? Back and forth for like ever. Once plans were finalized though, I knew it was go-time.
We met up for Japanese food and he walks in wearing absolutely precious salmon colored pants. Its a bold choice, but he worked it. He is confident enough to pull it off. This is normally something I'd judge the hell out of. I'd be all "um banana republic wants their $98 chinos back, bitch." But like I said, he doesn't look like a WASP-Y douche.
We talk about what we've been doing since the show(s) we worked on and its really nice to catch up with him. Despite our age difference (somewhere between 5 - 7 yrs. ugh.... i know.) we have a lot to talk about. and when we're done eating I don't want it to end.
I quickly suggest we head back to my place to have an indoor picnic and watch the rain. Romantic, right? I'm kind of awesome at these things. So I spread a blanket out and open the blinds and we watch the rain. I also put on my "make-out" mix on my ipod. Yes, ladies and gays, I have a make-out mix on my ipod. Don't be judgin'... you do it. Music to get it on to. A lot of acoustic guitar and syrupy lyrics. (Thank you John Mayer and DMB!)
So the music is playing. We're watching the rain... and nothing is happening. All that is left for me to do is wear a hat that says "Times for the make-outs now!" He just isn't getting the picture. So I actually say:
"You know I think you're cute right?"
"Yeah..."
"You know I want to kiss you right?"
"Yeah..."
"Would that be ok?"
and Jail Bail shrugs. He SHRUGS!... which i take as a yes. So I lean forward and begin my awesome art of kissing. I'm like really good at it, p.s. You can ask like literally dozens and dozens of people. Most of you reading the blog have kissed me and are nodding your heads right now. Don't lie.
So we pause and I can tell he's nervous. Shaking. And I ask if he's ok and he says "yes... its just..." and my mind freaks out. "Its just what? You're really only 17? You have a boyfriend? You don't like me anymore?"
"Its just... you're my first kiss."
I was stunned. This kid is gorgeous and I'm his first kiss. I feel like a champion and the biggest creeper in the world. On the one hand, lucky-ass him for getting his first kiss from someone as awesome as me. On the other... it probably should have come from someone he could have had a real relationship with. I don't know what to do. I ask if he wants to stop. He says "...no" and basically tackles me.
We end up making out for another 30 minutes. I really want to take his clothes off... but I'm not that terrible. When he leaves I tell him I'll see him at his HS graduation... god, i'm such a creepy perv.
Gained Points For: Picking up the technique really quickly
Lost Points For: Making me beg for it. I gotta keep some dignity, you know?
Mistakes I Made: um... .GOING ON A DATE WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD?!?
Chances for another date: Probably not good. He is going off to college and will find a candy store of young hot gay boys there. I'll be the last thing on his mind. However, he is so adorable and technically its legal so... I'd be up for it.
Overall Grade: B
Sunday, August 9, 2009
If At First You Don't Succeed...
Sometimes you get what you deserve.
Names have been changed to protect the endearing.
Name of Date: Baby Face
Date #: 1
Looks Like: the poster boy for late 90's fashion. spiked hair included.
Age: 25
Occupation: works for a leading cable news network
Where We Met: Connexion
What Happened: So after my sleep-inducing date with The Pseudonym, I rushed off to meet Baby Face. I had told him I'd been in NYC for the day, and he suggested we get together once he got off work. After hours of boredom with The Pseudonym, I was ready for something fun and romantic and work the $18 I spent on the train ticket.
We met in Columbus circle at the big statue and fountains. It was twilight (the time of day, not the pre-teen girl porn) and I anxiously awaited, what I hoped, would be a better date. When he walked up I think my brain had built up some kind of phenomenal reward for dealing with the last guy, that I actually imagined he emerged out of the fog and got down on one knee to greet me. I know neither of these things actually happened, but seriously, this is how my brain remembers it.
Right of the bat I knew he was cuter than the last guy, and would be a lot more fun to hang out with. He had this adorable little face, which made him look about 12 years old. I know that makes me sound like a complete pedophile, but whatevs. I'd rather be dating someone with a young face than ANYONE WITH A BEARD.
We grab dinner at some place in the Time Warner center. I didn't tell him that i'd just eaten lunch there, because then i'd have to explain i'm a dirty prostitution whore that just came from another date. So, I just sat quietly and ordered something different. I'm sure the wait staff was all... "uh... who this bitch think he is?" because in my mind, i'm gorgeous and semi-famous and obviously they were concerned with the personal drama of my life and discussed it thoroughly in the kitchen.
We had a very nice conversation at dinner where we learned that we grew up about 40ish minutes from each other and had several acquaintances in common. He also wasn't weirded out that his brother roomed with a guy I had dated. Something like that would have been too much for me and I'd have started looking for ways to end the date right there. It would have felt too close to incest for me.
After dinner he decided to take me on a tour of the studios where he works. Now, I'm sure he's done this before. In fact, I would bet my future husband's riches on it. I don't particulalry care for this news station's politics and neither do my people (da gayz), but it was still incredibly interesting to walk around and see everything. I was in awe and felt important. This guy had a serious seduction tactic that was working like a charm on me. I almost accosted him in the elevator, because I'm a classy lady.
He'd probably have liked it though. Who wouldn't want to hook up at their place of work?
At one point he showed me a prominent news anchor's office. The kind of news anchor that the world knows and is actually famous. I was hella turned on and wanted him to ravish me right there. I guess being close to notoriety is a real turn on for me. Who knew?
After the tour he walked me back to the train station so I could get home and gave me a perfectly pleasant end of first date kiss on the lips. It was sweet, simple and entirely appropriate. Plus public, which means he was proud to be with me. I descended into the tunnels grateful that I had traded up for my second date of the day.
Gained Points For: Telling a story about how his mom found his gay porn magazine. Hilarious. If you're going to divulge that kind of info on a first date, I'm yours.
Lost Points For: He is a bit nerdy, and not the in the sexy nerd way, but in the "i know a lot of useless facts" way. Its a boner killer, but I think he knows that the studio tour is the ultimate viagra.
Mistakes I Made: Actually, I think I was perfectly classy and respectable on this date.
Chances for Another Date: Totes. Just as soon as I get back to NYC.
Overall Grade: B+
Names have been changed to protect the endearing.
Name of Date: Baby Face
Date #: 1
Looks Like: the poster boy for late 90's fashion. spiked hair included.
Age: 25
Occupation: works for a leading cable news network
Where We Met: Connexion
What Happened: So after my sleep-inducing date with The Pseudonym, I rushed off to meet Baby Face. I had told him I'd been in NYC for the day, and he suggested we get together once he got off work. After hours of boredom with The Pseudonym, I was ready for something fun and romantic and work the $18 I spent on the train ticket.
We met in Columbus circle at the big statue and fountains. It was twilight (the time of day, not the pre-teen girl porn) and I anxiously awaited, what I hoped, would be a better date. When he walked up I think my brain had built up some kind of phenomenal reward for dealing with the last guy, that I actually imagined he emerged out of the fog and got down on one knee to greet me. I know neither of these things actually happened, but seriously, this is how my brain remembers it.
Right of the bat I knew he was cuter than the last guy, and would be a lot more fun to hang out with. He had this adorable little face, which made him look about 12 years old. I know that makes me sound like a complete pedophile, but whatevs. I'd rather be dating someone with a young face than ANYONE WITH A BEARD.
We grab dinner at some place in the Time Warner center. I didn't tell him that i'd just eaten lunch there, because then i'd have to explain i'm a dirty prostitution whore that just came from another date. So, I just sat quietly and ordered something different. I'm sure the wait staff was all... "uh... who this bitch think he is?" because in my mind, i'm gorgeous and semi-famous and obviously they were concerned with the personal drama of my life and discussed it thoroughly in the kitchen.
We had a very nice conversation at dinner where we learned that we grew up about 40ish minutes from each other and had several acquaintances in common. He also wasn't weirded out that his brother roomed with a guy I had dated. Something like that would have been too much for me and I'd have started looking for ways to end the date right there. It would have felt too close to incest for me.
After dinner he decided to take me on a tour of the studios where he works. Now, I'm sure he's done this before. In fact, I would bet my future husband's riches on it. I don't particulalry care for this news station's politics and neither do my people (da gayz), but it was still incredibly interesting to walk around and see everything. I was in awe and felt important. This guy had a serious seduction tactic that was working like a charm on me. I almost accosted him in the elevator, because I'm a classy lady.
He'd probably have liked it though. Who wouldn't want to hook up at their place of work?
At one point he showed me a prominent news anchor's office. The kind of news anchor that the world knows and is actually famous. I was hella turned on and wanted him to ravish me right there. I guess being close to notoriety is a real turn on for me. Who knew?
After the tour he walked me back to the train station so I could get home and gave me a perfectly pleasant end of first date kiss on the lips. It was sweet, simple and entirely appropriate. Plus public, which means he was proud to be with me. I descended into the tunnels grateful that I had traded up for my second date of the day.
Gained Points For: Telling a story about how his mom found his gay porn magazine. Hilarious. If you're going to divulge that kind of info on a first date, I'm yours.
Lost Points For: He is a bit nerdy, and not the in the sexy nerd way, but in the "i know a lot of useless facts" way. Its a boner killer, but I think he knows that the studio tour is the ultimate viagra.
Mistakes I Made: Actually, I think I was perfectly classy and respectable on this date.
Chances for Another Date: Totes. Just as soon as I get back to NYC.
Overall Grade: B+
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