Mixed Media

Sometimes being hot isn't all that matters.

Names have been changed to protect the artistic.

Name of Date: Kurosawa
Date #: 1
Looks Like: A little rodent-y. With a weak chin.
Age: 24
Occupation: Worked in the film department of a nearby school for the arts.
Where We Met: Myspace. I apparently meet a lot of guys on this site. I haz a pwobblem.
What Happened: So I'm not usually attracted to mousy dudes on the internets. I like my cyberspace men all hot and chiseled-y. But I had been dating a bucketfull of douches recently so I figured I'd take a tip from Miranda Preistly and give the homely guy a chance.

He told me he had scored tickets to the permiere showing of a blockbuster movie in 3D. It wasn't a movie I particularly wanted to see, but if these are perks he gets with his job, I'll take it.

I actually had a job interview that evening so I had to rush driectly from there to be able to make it on time. Unfortch, his place was legit 45 minutes from where I was interviewing. Wah Wah. I could have dressed nicely for the interview and then just suffered through the date in a tie, but there is no reason to make a first date more awkward. SO.. I dressed down for the interview.

It was at a dentist's office for a dental assistant position.

I'll give you a moment to process that. Can't you just see me sticking things into people's mouths? I mean... uh...

So I'm interviewing and its running over and I'm totes gonna be late for a movie I don't care to see with a guy who's not even that hot but I'm anxious and want to leave. I end up blowing the interview when the dentist asks why I didn't dress appropriately.

"uh... i figured it didn't matter."

Then he shakes my hand and I peace out. Who wants to work as a dental assitant anyway?

I'm speeding down the highway trying to get to Kurosawa as fast as my little maxima will go. Which, is fast, and I make it to his house only 10 minutes late. He opens the door and looks just as ordinary as his picture promised he would be. We jump in his SUV and race to the theatre. Wait I mean theater. Its hard for me to type it that way. TheatRE is the real and culturally important thing. TheatER is the fake place where you watch bad acting and can sometimes get discreet handj's.

So on the way to the theatER we do the small talk game. I clearly win at this game since I'm so charming and do the banter like a pro. See what I mean? "do the banter?" I have a way with wordings.

But he keeps up and seems like a fairly decent guy. I begin to forgive his weak chin... a little bit.

We pull up to the theatER and its packed. Its packed like a miley cyrus/taylor swift/jason beiber concert. (OMGZ can you imagine that triple bill? I'd be there will bells on. and i'd cry. lots) When we walk up to the box office with the special commemorative tickets the agent informs us that the theatre is completely full and those vouchers were first come, first serve.

Normally he'd lose points for planning incorrectly, but I didn't want to see the movie anyway and its slightly my fault for being late. Damn dentist guy with his lab coat... and srubs... and stuff.

We decide to go grab a bite and he drives to Panera. YESSSS. Where the faux hipster dine. I think we (yea, i'm one of them) like it because it makes us feel closer to hip city. Even though a real hipster would never be caught dead there. Mother bread is too suffocating and commercial. She sold out.

We actually have a really nice meal and find out that our tastes in music is really similar. This guy's weak chin is practically disappearing in front of my eyes. After dinner he invites me back to his place to watch the season premiere of Project Runway. I am 100% positive this is not a metaphor for sexy times because no self-respecting gay would

a. use PR as a decoy

b. try to make a move during it

It turned out to be the premiere to end all premieres and he and I laughed and gasped and applauded through the whole thing.

When the show ended I decided to make a good decision for once, and leave the night "clean and quiet" (Name that muscial theatre quote!) He walked me to my door and I gave him a classy kiss goodnight. No tongue. I am a lady.

Gained Points for: Having good taste in TV/Music.

Lost Points for: His place was kind of a hole. And he had gross straight roommates.

Mistakes I Made: Ew. I wore really ugly grey tennis shoes on this date. WHY DID I THINK THAT WAS CUTE?

Chances for Another Date: Fairly good. I would wait for him to call me though.

Overall Grade: B+

P.S. I was totes offered that job. And I totes turned it down. Baller.