Hit The Showers

Sometimes I live in porn story lines.

Names have been changed to protect the could legitimately be fired for this.

Name of Date: Personal Trainer
Date #: 1
Looks Like: A wanna-be model for a thinly veiled homo-erotic workout magazine.
Age: 30
Occupation: Asst. Manager of my Gym.
Where We Met: My Gym. One morning I was there early doing my workout. I'm on the little slanty thing ( I do not know the appropriate term b/c... I do not care) doing side crunches. I'm content and listening to Missy Elliot on my ipod when PT walks by in the middle of his workout. We notice each other. He turns around and nonchalantly but very clearly adjusts his junk right in front of me.

This, ladies and ladies, is kind of a nod of the head betwixt gay men. Its like winking or saying "'ello. 'ow are 'ou." Primitive gay cultures (from the 1970's) would crudely whip it out and wag it to say "how d'you do?" but we have progressed much since the dark ages.

Curious, but still unconvinced, I continued with my workout. Perhaps I had mis-perceived the gesture and he merely was itchy. 40 minutes later I walk into the locker room to take a shower before work and I see him putting on his gym uniform. I walk back to the showers and am the only person there. I turn the water on and begin to wash myself. The next thing I know PT is there watching me. He literally just standing there staring at my junk.

AND WE KNOW.

All doubt has been erased from my mind as the heavy breathing begins. I can almost hear the "bow-chicka-bow-wow" begin to be pumped over the PA system. However, no sauntering towards me. No removal of his gym shorts. He merely stares for a few minutes and then leaves. I got a cheap thrill out of being watched, not gonna lie. But thats all that happened. I got dressed and went to work.

Over the course of the next few weeks, PT and I fell into a routine. He pretty much adjusted to my workout schedule so that we would be showering simultaneously in the morning. He would always shower directly across from me and spend far too much time lathering up his nether regions. After the shower we would dress next to each other and share a few words

"hey"
"morning"
"good workout?"
"yep"

If I needed any further proof that this guy was a raging 'mo... he always wore the tiniest bikini briefs. And always made sure I saw just how much of a struggle it was for him to fit inside them.

One morning he finally introduced himself and we had a real conversation about how he'd just moved here. How bored he was. etc. He asked if I had a boyfriend and I said no. Then he pulled it out wagged it around and said "Wanna play with it?"

While watching it grow I had a few thoughts

a. yeah... i kinda do.
b. wait maybe someone will walk in
c. is this even allowed?! he works here and I'm a patron!
d. if other people walk in will they join in?
e. what would the title of this porn be.

And while I'm thinking these things he grabs my hand and PLACES IT ON HIS PENIS!!!!

I then begin to think.

a. oh...its warm.
b. and big
c. this is the worst idea ever.

I murmur

"I'd love to but I have to get to work."

He smiles and then puts it away. " I understand" But he hands me his card and tells me to call him. Then he asks for my number. So... I do what anyone would do... I give it to him.

Another week or so goes by where we continue our shower/show-off ritual until he finally calls me and asks me on a date.

What Happened: He tells me to come over and we'll grab dinner and hang out. So I drive over to his place and he's got a pretty nice apartment. We exchange pleasantries and he says "ok, lemme get changed and we can go." He walks back to his bedroom and calls out "So did you have a good day?" I am checking out his decor/furniture and call back "It was ok. How about you?" He responds "I can't hear you... come back here."

So I walk back there. And he is fully nude waiting for me. No joke. I was about to laugh in his face when I saw him begin to actually dress. I guess we had seen each other naked dozens of times that it didn't matter. It just seemed different in a bedroom and not a locker room.

Dinner turned out to be Arby's. I am not kidding. FUCKING ARBY'S. I mean I love Arby's but its not exactly date atmosphere. Fast food says "I like you the amount of $5.95 and half an hour of conversation at plastic tables."

After dinner we went back to his place and began to channel surf. We ended up on ANTM. I know, right? After a few moments he looks at me and literally says "So.... are you gonna get naked?" I thought he was joking, but no. He was legit serious. I laughed and said "Well are you?"
At which point he completely stripped off all his clothes.

What is a girl to do? I did the same. Getting a beej while watching ANTM is any gay's dream.

We eventually moved to the bedroom and had a pretty nice time. He was a little rougher than I like, but what can you expect with those muscle guy types? So we've been going at it for a little while... not long, mind you... and he says "Ok. I want to you cum." I say "Now?"

AND HE LOOKS AT THE CLOCK AND SAYS "yes, I need to get to bed soon"

WHAT THE HELL?!?!

oh i'm sorry i'm inconveniencing you by being naked in your bed and doing pleasurable things to you. let me finish up and get out of your hair. OH AND BY THE WAY I CAN TOTALLY GET YOU FIRED FOR COMING ON TO ME IN THE LOCKER ROOM!

I left. The next morning at the gym he was already showered and dressed by the time I got there. Asshole.

Gained Points For: Watching ANTM

Lost Points For: Being a huge sleaze.

Mistakes I Made: Being slutty mcwhore-face.

Chances for Another Date: funny story. So I wanted to get back at him for kind of doing me and ditching me. So the next time we talked I made up a story about how I had completely shaved for him and everything was smooth now. He lapped it up like a puppy and asked me out again. I said "no" HA! I'm kind of a bitch.

Overall Grade: C