And Isn't it Ironic?... Don'tcha Think

Sometimes you gotta go what you gotta do.

Names have been changed to protect the cowardly.

Name of Date: Too Good to be True
Date #: 2
Title of Last Date: Abuse of Power
Amount of Time Between Last Date: A Week
What Happened: When last we left TGTBT, I was doing a little box step/grapevine/pas de bourres of joy in my head because this hot freshmen was into me. It seemed things were in my favor. After a year of the universe positively crapping on my romantic life, things were looking up.

TGTBT and I had hung out a few times since then. You know, the usj. Massages and Makeouts on my roommate's bed. (I had the top bunk, it was just easier not to attempt the climb). Don't worry. He never knew. Probably.

This day, however, we were going to go "public" with our "relationship" by attending our college's spring dance as a couple. I was quite excited and thrilled. It also helped that it fell on the same day as GAY DAY at my school. Ok it wasn't called "Gay Day" but thats what it felt like. It was a day dedicated to the discussion of homosexuality and religion. In other words, long overdue. This only fueled my activist nature and fired me up for our evening out.

We both got dressed up in our semi-formal gear. I hate that word semi. What good has that done for anyone? Semi-truck? Ew. Semi-Circle? Oh bitch, please. Semi-hard? Call me when you're all the way. Plus "semi-formal" is so vague. Is a sport coat too much? Is a tie required? Dressy Tennis shoes ok? Just make it formal or not. You'd save a lot of headaches and there'd be less trashy girls in forever 21 gear.

We both wore blue dress shirts. Which was cute. Trust me. I may be cynical, but hot couples dressing alike is cute. I MEAN IT!

We have dinner at friendly's. Yes I am hanging my head in shame. Feel free to judge. I'll wait while you shake your head and wag your finger.... This is also where we took our one and ONLY picture of the two of us. Those of you who are my facebook friend, it is still tagged.

When we make it to the dance, we are the first ones to break the hymen of the dance floor. Gays don't get to break a lot of hymens, so when we get the chance to bust up some metaphorical ones... we take it. We were all over each other, grinding, sweating, groping. It was hot. I mean: damn. We attracted a lot of attention, obvi. Some random people even took pictures of us. I opted to pretend like I was a hot celebrity and not some carnival oddity, which I'm sure they thought we were.

Overall I was super proud of him. He had just come out and dedicated this evening to making a statement. Two boys danced together all night at a Christian College dance. Kudos to him.

Anyway, we leave and on the way home agree to change and meet back up at my place to "watch a movie."

hahahaha bingo.

Well about 45 minutes pass, and he hasn't show up.... So I call him. He says he is tired.

I'm not convinced.

I press the issue and he says he thinks we are taking things too fast and should stop.

uh.... WHAT THE EFFING HELL?!?

He pretty much "breaks-up" with me right there with some lame-ass story about how this is all too hard for him, and he wants to be pure and blah blah fucking blah. I'm so over it at this point, that I don't even care. He can go off and fuck angels for all I care. Pure. HA!

So I go off and call one of the hot guys I met that day who had come to speak to our campus. Get it.

Apparently, "Too Good to be True" was pretty accurate.

Gained Points for: His initial bravery.

Lost Points for: Not following through.

Mistakes I Made: Assuming he was ready

Chances for Another Date: Well... I paid him $10 to come over and massage me again hoping that would lead to something. I'm not kidding. I legit paid him to come over.... and nothing happened. I'm pathetic.

Overall Grade: C-

NEW CATEGORY!

Epilogue: so much much much much much later.... I find out that TGTBT has claimed that a senator has raped him. I'm shocked. However, the senator was all "um. hell no. he is a prostitute and i have the tapes to prove it".... AND HE DID!

soooo... TGTBT went off to prison for a while. I like to think his "pure" speech comforted him in that time... and that my massage money opened the door to a career path for him. helping others is what i'm all about.

he is kind of a huge joke amongst my friends now.

i. win.