Hall Pass

Sometimes I feel like I'm in high school again

Names have been changed to protect the unexperienced.

Name of Date: The Flautist
Date #: 1
Looks Like: A severely skinny and possibly asian version of Kevin from the backstreet boys..... I'll give you a minute to process that image.
Age: 19
Occupation: Music Student
Where We Met: www.gaychristiandating.com (Yes, it exists. I'll wait while you confirm that.)
What Happened: so we met online and I was wary of actually meeting The Flautist in person because he had the same name as my first boyfriend. who is now my ex. obvi. names are important and i can't just be saying this kid's name while he's "hittin' the walls and working the middle" (points to you if you get that reference) if it's the same as some other asshole's and then i start to think about HIM. not ok. you know what i mean? i finally justified meeting him because he spelled it differently. why that makes a difference, i don't know, it just does.

so we both had crazy busy schedules and the only day for like a month that would work for me, he had a flute recital that day. do i need to repeat that? HE HAD A FLUTE RECITAL THAT DAY. those. exist.

i don't know where my mind was but i agreed to go to his recital and then we could hang out afterward. i figured it might last 30 minutes at the longest and I could be the mysterious cute guy sitting in the back. i might even give myself an alias. Hot Gonnamakeyousweat or something...

We meet up (at a mall. i won't even. i mean. a mall? srsly?) and we exchange quick hellos because I need to follow him to the recital hall. He seems nice enough. I'm not too freaked out yet.When we get there I notice many other awkward almost adults carrying various instrument cases inside. Its like that moment at Wal Mart when you realize your only option is to stand in line behind 5 people with full carts or abandon your $5 bin DVD right there. I was going to be in for a looooong afternoon.

He introduces me to another friend of his who comes and it is expected we will sit together. I silently resent her for taking away my mysteriousness.

Then his parents show up. He has the sense not to introduce me. Thank GOODNESS. But they know. They see a sexy mysterious guy hanging out with his friend and they know. They know I'm the guy trying to steal their precious son into the world of homosezzuality. I am an instant enemy.

4 hours later the concert ends. Well. not really. But it feels like it. I don't even remember if he's talented or not. I then have to sit through an agonizing hour of photo taking. With the teacher, with his friend, with the other students. on and on and on. Can a brother get a sandwich?

When we finally leave and head to dinner alone at Carabbas we get to talk. He is slightly boring and has no real opinion about anything. We learn we have a mutual friend. We friend is a loose term. We know someone in common who is a mofo. Not just a mofo, but the kind of person you acitvely avoid. Since THEY are friends, he looses more points.

Dinner ends and we get back in his car so he can drive me back to mine and I can drive home. He ends up pulling into a parking garage so we can be "alone." I should have asked him to drive me back. I should have declined any advances. But jump cut to me making out with him in his station wago while awkwardly moving to the back seat. Its at this point I realize that the kid has probably never gone on a date before or he wouldn't have done any of this. He's so clueless about what to do. Its almost endearing.

Long story short we exchange handy j's.... its not that great. He didn't really "prepare" so... its awkward. I feel like i'm in high school again. I mean if I dated boys in high school. I'm assuming this is what popular 17 year old girls feel like: sitting through their boyfriend's basketball game only to get a mediocre groping later in his pick up. Depressing.

Gained Points for: not introducing me to his parents? thats really all I can think of

Lost Points for: taking me back to high school

Mistakes I Made: Letting him undo my pants. Not wise.

Chances for Another Date: ehhh... I'd do it again, but only if I planned it.

Overall Grade: C+